Drug addicts are easy to spot. They
have a grunge look, and a drained personality. Their eyes always have a hazy
look, and they usually come from dysfunctional family lives. That is what used
to be my stereotype of a drug addict, and I know I am not alone in that
assumption. On February 10, 2008 my beloved cousin Charles overdosed on
heroine.
Charles was raised by my aunt, a
single parent. She always put my cousin highest in her priorities. When he was
in middle school he was diagnosed with A.D.D. The school recommended my aunt
put him on medication, because his focus in class was non-existent. In fact,
they really did not give her a choice.
His doctor put him on a medication that in
this day would probably be too high of a dosage for such a young child. Charles
went from an enthusiastic, sweet boy to a drained, unstable teenager. Once he
entered high school he started showing signs of depression. Although there is
no medical proof that his medication led him to this, my family believes it
did. He started to skip class and began smoking marijuana. He then dropped out
of school and moved out briefly.
In no time he gathered himself
together and made a complete turn-around. We all thought he was out of his
rebellious stage. He was back to the same person, the person who used to take
care of me and help me when I needed someone. His smile was immaculate and he
had the ability to spread it like wild fire. Unfortunately, he hid a lot behind
his smile because he was not fully cured. He began doing harder drugs behind
our family’s back, and finally it lead to his death at the young age of
twenty-three.
If you knew Charles, the drugs did not define
who he was. In fact, his drug habit was
not recognizable because of his bright and engaging personality. I never would
have characterized him as a drug addict. He helped me with my homework, and hung
out with me even though I was younger than him. Charles had many friends, which
was plainly evident at his funeral when nearly two hundred people came. People
never knew the pain he held inside, because on the outside he was a completely
different person. In fact, it was years later once my aunt disclosed this with
me.
Although we are coming up on his
five year anniversary, my family is still numbed by the loss of Charles. Even
though this is a tragic loss, it taught me so much. Judging someone by his/her exterior and
stereotyping people is not always accurate in most cases. Many people could be
smiling on the outside, but hurting on the inside, all while engaging in
destructive behavior.
I work at a camp every summer. We see children
of all types, families, races, etc. Some live in foster care, while others’
lives seem picture perfect. Despite which lifestyle they live, my goal is to
make these children leave with genuine smiles on their faces. My group is PK
through 1st grade. We do various activities like sports, arts and
crafts, dance parties, and of course duck, duck goose.
I’ve grown attached to these kids going
to this place four days a week, nine hours a day. One child, Darren, has A.D.D.
like my cousin did. You can tell when his mother increases his meds because
rather than being happy and spirited like he usually is, running around and
participating in everything, he is dull and blank. He sits there with a glum
expression. I reported this behavior to my supervisor, and she brought this to
his mother’s attention.
Even if my suggestion does not make
a complete change, I hope it makes a difference, and that is what I want to
continue to do. I hope that through my education, I can lead a life of purpose,
helping others and making a difference in my community. We never know what
people are dealing or coping with; that is why I try to branch out to others.
I want to leave a legacy that others
will remember for the good. I believe Charles’ death has impacted my life
immensely, in ways I have not even fully discovered yet. I know that he has
given me a new way to look at situations. I am less judgmental and less apt to
stereotype. His death has inspired me to be a better person, and even though
things will never be the same I am a firm believer that time heals everything.
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